Everything I swore I'd never do

It's so easy when you aren't a parent to say, "well, of course I'll never do that." Even when pregnant, I read the parenting books and thought of course I won't rock my baby to sleep because she'll become dependent on that, of course I won't let her play with a plastic sack because she could suffocate, of course I will take the pacifier away no later than 8 months, before she can resist very strongly. How very little I knew ...

Before my OB released us from the hospital, she looked us in the eyes and said, "Remember, you guys are in survival mode. Whatever you have to do to get through the day is OK." I'm pretty sure she just meant this in reference to our first few weeks as parents, but it has become my mantra for all time.

When I'm rocking/nursing/singing my baby to sleep instead of letting her soothe herself to sleep, I'm feeling incredibly guilty that I'm doing exactly what the "experts" say not to do. Especially because I was so sure I would listen to those experts. I do like to follow the rules. When Jordan or I have made our 12th trip into her room in the middle of the night because she's crying, I'm pretty sure we must be crazy. But here's the thing. I think back to a really difficult day when Addie was about 5 or 6 months old, when we thought the colic was gone for good and then it came back with a vengeance. I was letting her "soothe" herself to sleep, which meant she was screaming bloody murder, when it hit me. I am her mom. Those "experts" in those parenting books aren't here. I am. When you live with a baby who has colic, who cries and cries and cries for hours and there's literally nothing you can do about it, it changes anything you ever thought about the way you would parent. I made a resolution to myself, for myself, that when and if I can soothe her, I'll do it. There have been so many times that she's crying and I can't fix it, so if I can fix it, through rocking or singing or nursing or snuggling, that's exactly what I'm going to do. No matter what those parenting experts say I'm supposed to do.

Several of my friends have confessed to me that they rocked (or still rock) their babies to sleep, not because their babies need it, but because they need it. And isn't that the truth. Some day Addie's going to be 14, and I'm pretty sure not only will she no longer fit on my lap, she'll die of embarrasment if I try to rock her to sleep. Looking into my baby's sweet, vulnerable face as she is about to fall asleep is my very favorite part of the day, and not just because it's the only time of day she will actually hold still.

It makes me feel a little better to know that Addie is perfectly capable of soothing herself to sleep, and oftentimes she does just that. She is back to (usually) sleeping through the night, after battling months of teething, ear infections, etc. that took us back to square one after having a baby who had slept through the night for months before. And (warning: boob joke ahead) if she does wake in the night, and giving her a boob means I can get back to sleep in 15 minutes as opposed to her crying for another hour, take a quick guess what I'm going to choose.

As for that pacifier ... I heard a news story recently about the importance of weaning babies from the bottle at age 1 and from a pacifier at 6 months. My immediate reaction was, "did whoever make these rules actually have children?" Sure, I agree in theory that that makes sense. But , some of the time, theory and reality couldn't be further from each other. If giving your baby a bottle or pacifier past that cut-off age gives you a little sanity or sleep (extremely precious commodities in my book), I get it. (PS don't judge me if my kid still has her paci at age 10).

And about that pastic bag ... I was trying to clean our closet today, while also entertaining the baby, and after she tried to lick her 12th shoe, she grabbed a GAP bag and had the very best time with it. For like 5 whole minutes. It was beautiful. And I was monitoring very closely to ensure she didn't put it over her head and suffocate.

So the moral of the story is: don't judge my parenting skills and I won't judge yours. We're all just trying to survive.

Addison Mae - 9 months

I am so lucky to be this girl's momma. Even though every moment isn't perfect and I have plenty of moments of frustration, anxiety and insanity as a mom, I feel so blessed that God chose Jordan and me to be her parents. Addie's curiosity and need to be BUSY continue to amaze us, and wear us out. Her sense of humor, orneryness and playful spirit are becoming more evident each day. That girl's belly laugh is the best sound in all the world, and I make a fool out of myself multiple times a day just for the chance to hear it. She loves to eat, which she comes by naturally, loves to be the center of attention, ditto, and loves tormenting her animals ... probably also a ditto. She's on her way to six whole teeth, with two more not far behind. Did I mention she can get wherever she wants to go? Her method of army crawling, rolling, scooting and pulling up means whatever that girl wants, she gets. Her new love of remote controls, phones and computers must mean her parents are playing with those toys far too much. Addie had tear duct surgery in late April, which was fairly easy and took less than 10 minutes. Watching her come off the anesthesia was really rough for Jordan and me, but it was very short-lived. Two weeks after she had the tube put in, it had to come back out because she had pulled it out some (imagine that). Thankfully, that happens in many cases and doesn't mean it has to be put back in - her doctor is confident it's already done the job. A week before the surgery, this tearful momma got to go to Mexico with my super amazing husband for his reward for being a top 10 salesman in his company, for the second year in a row. It was so hard to leave our baby, and we missed her like crazy, but we enjoyed sleeping late, eating and drinking, and just lying on the beach. We were anxious to get home to our girl and so glad she remembered us!!

Weight: 17 lbs, 9 oz
Length: 27.5 inches

New things this month:

• We have a crawler. Her method is more of an army crawl, but she sure is fast.
• Pulling up. On everything.
• Saying Izzy, which she says in reference to Izzy herself, the cat and any other four-legged friend. Don't ask Jordan how he feels about her saying ma-ma and Izzy before da-da ...
• Eating almost all finger foods. Baby food is, clearly, for babies.
• Swimming! Baby girl went swimming in her Grammie and Pawpaw's pool for the first time and she was wild about it. The diaper was the only downside since it meant her little bottom kept rising to the surface ... and I'm so glad I now know just how much liquid a diaper can hold.
• Moving up to her big-girl car seat.
• Laughing when we tickle her. Which we do a lot just to hear that sweet sound.

Likes:

• Oh, Izzy and Mia. The best dog and cat around. I've been trying to teach Addie to pat them gently instead of pulling their fur out, biting their ears and pounding on their backs, but she doesn't seem to be getting the message. I've also tried to teach them to run away when Addie comes crawling, but they seem to like her attention.
• Eating. Favorite foods are avocado, cantaloupe and chicken. She also loves asparagus, black beans, garbanzo beans, pumpkin, apples, pears, green beans ... well, pretty much whatever we feed her.
• Initiating games of peekaboo.
• Washing her hands in the sink. It's the little things.
• Being outside. She squeals when we take Izzy out in the back yard. And squeals even louder when we throw Izzy the ball or she runs all around the yard. Addie will try to wrench herself out of our arms just to see where her puppy is.
• Riding in her new red wagon. I thought she wouldn't care anything about it, but Jordan insisted we get it and she thinks it's the best thing that ever happened to her.
• She loves to look around to see if we're watching before she crawls or pulls up - have I mentioned she likes to be the center of attention?
• Magazines. She loves to go get the mail with me every day, and now she has figured out that's where the magazines come from. She can rip and chew up a magazine in the blink of an eye.
• Sophie the giraffe. A gift from her Great Aunt Granny and Uncle Pawpaw. Rubbery, made for teething babies and with a squeaker. Think: dog toy. Poor Izzy does not understand why the baby has a toy that looks, sounds and smells like a dog toy, but she has been very good not to take it away. We take Sophie everywhere.
• Dancing/bouncing/jumping to music. So, so cute.

Dislikes:

• Not getting her way. Where did that come from?
• Being constrained  in any way, shape or form.
• Riding in the backseat alone.

Addison Mae - 8 months

When did this baby girl get so BIG? And so BUSY?! I've started calling Addie baby Jordan. If the shoe fits ... She is constantly on the move, wants to know where everyone is and is intent on getting what she wants, even if she can't get there on her own. Now, I realize that sounds more like me than Jordan ... but as babies I was fairly calm and content and he was BUSY. So basically the opposite of how we are now. Addie loves to eat and loves to feed herself. I love watching her sense of accomplishment when she actually gets something from her tray into her mouth. She's figured out her sippy cup, too. She's less and less interested in nursing and her bottle - usually because she has way too many things to do to sit still and eat. The best part about the past month has been Addie saying ma-ma. Whether she actually means it in relation to me makes no difference at all - still the sweetest thing I've ever heard! And the next best has been her giving slobbery, drooly, open-mouth kisses to Jordan and me. She may or may not just be trying to chew on us (see: worst part of the past month) but I'll take it either way. The worst has been those darn teeth. Poor thing has been teething fairly constantly since the beginning of February, but she does have four sweet little teeth to show for it. The other worst part was finding out that she has to have surgery to unblock the tear ducts in her right eye in late April. Though we love the doctor who's performing the surgery and it's a very minor procedure, we are going to be basketcases that day. Thankfully it's a very short (like 10 minute) procedure, but she does have to be sedated. And I'm wondering how in the world I will explain to her that she can't eat before the surgery ...

Weight: 16 pounds, 2 oz
Length: around 25.5 inches

New things this month:

• Saying ma-ma. :) I don't know that she knows what the heck she's saying, but she does say it a lot around me. And to Jordan, which is rather hilarious.
• More teeth. In addition to the bottom two, she has the matching top set.
• A little separation anxiety when we leave the room, she wakes in the night or we drop her at Starbright. And a definite preference for mom when she's sleepy/doesn't feel good.
• Trying to pull up. Seriously, we're just going to move straight past crawling to running. She pulls herself to her knees with one of her big toys, me and the arm of the couch. She also tried it in the bathtub this week and about gave us a heart attack.
• A little bit of scooting, mostly backwards instead of forwards. Have to start somewhere.
• Moving from a sitting position to her belly and then to her back. And then rolling all over the floor.
• Putting objects into a container, like blocks into a box. Most impressive is that she has a new octopus toy (yes, my baby continues to be obsessed with all sea creatures, octopuses in particular) where you place a ball in his hat or arm and it winds around and drops under one of five shoes. She can totally put a ball in the hat or arm all by herself. And then she smiles and laughs about it like she knows what a big deal she is. I am pretty sure she's a genius.
• Giving kisses. Or just chewing on our faces.
• Getting rid of her baby bathtub and taking baths like a big girl. And splashing, splashing, splashing. And occasionally taking a nose dive into the water. She does love to have the faucet turned on so she can put her hands, and sometimes her head, under the running water.
• A few blessed nights of sleeping 12 hours straight. Hoping to make this the norm.
• Moving toward longer, less frequent naps. Hallelujah.

Likes:

• The octopus toy mentioned above.
• Any and all toys that make music/sound. The more obnoxious, the better.
• Our crazy dog and cat. They have a special place in heaven for all the ear pulling and biting they take from her. At least Izzy now benefits from cleaning out the baby's highchair when I'm not looking.
• Eating finger foods. She loves avocado, banana, puffs, Cheerios, pancakes, sweet potatoes and biscuits. Yum. She asks for her "big girl" breakfast, lunch and dinner much louder than she asks to nurse or for a bottle now.
• Her sippy cup, which she can occasionally figure out herself. Such a big girl.
• Spatulas remain near and dear to her heart.
• Her seahorse toy that plays classical music. A new must-have for bedtime. And nighttime awakenings.
• Playing peekaboo and pattycake.
• Any and all animal sounds, preferably made by her super talented mother.
• Having her teeth brushed.

Dislikes:

• Teething. I think we can all agree that the four teeth she has are plenty.
• Ear infections. We've had two of those and that is also plenty.
• Being constrained in any way, shape or form. I think she's making up for spending the first four months of her life swaddled.
• Having her face wiped, nails trimmed, ears cleaned, boogers removed ... she doesn't want to be messed with!
• Not being able to get where she wants to go or reach what she wants.
• Being away from mom or dad.
• Not being the center of attention. I have no idea where she got this.  

Addison Mae - 7 months

A little late on this one, too ... I guess we've been super busy the past few months! Addie's seventh month was marked by teething, another ear infection, a cold and a fever ... so it was a little rough on all of us. But in the midst of all that, for the most part, she continued to be my sweet, happy, BUSY girl! She is moving all the time. And starting to get really frustrated when she can't move when and where she wants to. Her little body just can't keep up with her brain! She continues to change so much every day. She'll start a new skill one day and have perfected it within the next two or three. I'm pretty sure she's a genius. I think (fingers crossed) the colic is gone for good.

Weight: around 16 pounds
Length: around 25.5 inches

New things this month:

• ROLLING! Front to back, back to front and all across the floor. She has figured out that it's an excellent way to get to something out of her reach.
• Even more babbling and "talking." Loves to explore new sounds and watch our mouths move.
• Obsessing about where Izzy and Mia are. When we talk about what the dog or cat say (she's very into animal sounds and I am a professional at making just about any animal sound), she looks and looks around for those two.
• TEETH! Those suckers caused her lots and lots of pain and discomfort. The first bottom tooth came in, followed by the second about two weeks later. Boy were we glad to see them finally poke through.
• She's perfected sitting up and falls over almost never. She likes to try to sit up while she's nursing. That's fun for me.
• Reaching for mom and dad. Be still my heart.
• Starting the Starbright Children's Day Out at our church. This was, to put it mildly, slightly stressful for me. Addie had a bit of a tough time at first but she has adjusted really well and her teachers have been so sweet and patient with her. Her grammie has been missing having her at her house, though.

Likes:

• Izzy and Mia win. They are her favorites. Well, Jordan and I rank pretty high, too.
• Eating "big girl" food, which mostly consists of baby food. We've tried small pieces of banana and avocado, which she likes. Mostly she just slimes them around her tray.  
• Her puppy piano, which she got for Valentine's Day. I may or may not be able to sing every song, in the correct order, on cue.
• Blocks. On a day when she was slightly fussy and I was out of idea, I got the block set out of her closet. I thought she was still a little young to appreciate them. I was wrong. She loves when I stack them up and she can push them over.
• Loves all her bath toys.
• Crazy about her stationary jumper. Much more fun now that those feet can touch the ground.
• Swinging! We tried out the swing on our neighborhood jungle gym, and although she was pretty suspicious at first, now she loves it.
• This girl likes to be BUSY. She wants to know where every noise comes from, where everyone is located and what they are doing at all times.
• All manner of kitchen utensils. Spatulas are her favorite and now when we pull them out of the drawer she grins because she knows they're for her. And if I was thinking about using it for, I don't know, cooking, it quickly gets relinquished to the queen of my heart.
• Chewing. On anything.

Dislikes:

• Not being able to get where she wants to go. I think she's going to be running at any point. She is forever acting like she wants to get down when we're holding her, like she wants to stand/walk, etc. She has places to go and people to see!

Addison Mae - 6 months

If you wondered if you missed Addie turning 6 months old, you didn't. I wrote the blog, took the pics, just never posted. So here it is ... just a month or so late!

I am trying not to get weepy about the fact that my little peanut is six whole months old. How does the time fly by this fast? Addie has changed dramatically over the past month, and we are just trying to keep up. We experienced her first ear infection (boo) and learned she has reflux (double boo) but in general her colic seems to be so much better. We still have episodes now and then but they are fewer and farther between.

Weight: 15 pounds, 2 ounces
Length: 25.5 inches

New things this month:

• Laughing, squealing, babbling and in general having a whole little conversation with herself or us. We try not to tell her that we have no idea what she's saying.
• Putting those toes in her mouth. Or her socks will do just fine.
• Still doing the same amount of rolling as last month and still can't quite figure out how to roll over that shoulder/arm to get to her tummy from her back. Thankfully trying to reach her dog or cat is helping her learn this skill.
• Sitting up! We've been practicing and practicing since she had to be able to sit by herself to attend the Children's Day Out program at our church. She seems to love her new vantage point of the world.
• Eating fruits and veggies. The first time she tries something she acts like it's the most disgusting thing she's ever tasted. (Pears and bananas being the exception.) But after a few times she has loved everything we've given her. So far her diet includes: green beans, peas, avocado, sweet potatoes, bananas, pears and prunes.
• Drinking water from a cup. Now anytime she sees someone with a Joe's or Saturn Grill cup she grunts and reaches until she gets a drink or gets her own drink. She prefers big people cups to her sippy cup.
• Reaching for toys that are out of reach, transferring toys from hand to hand and occasionally reaching for mom and dad.
• Paying attention to everything going on around her. I think she has some early-onset ADD. :) She is constantly stopping her feedings to try to see the TV, the dog or cat running by, her dad making noise in the kitchen. All noises need her attention immediately. My favorite is when we're playing in the living room and she hears her dad come in the back door - she looks and strains until she sees him and then grins and laughs.
• Licking. She seems to have really discovered her tongue, and she loves to lick our faces, noses, the dog, the cat, whatever she can find. I think it's her version of a kiss.

Likes:

• Her number one like is still her hands. They are in her mouth constantly. And she likes to use them to grab anything she can get and put that in her mouth, too.
• She definitely has eyes for her mom and dad. When someone else is holding her, she looks around until she finds us.
• Watching us eat. She follows each bite from our plates to our mouths.
• Her stationary jumper. Her feet don't exactly touch the ground yet, but she loves the music it makes and all the toys she can conveniently get in her mouth.
• Still loves to be read to, especially each night before bed.
• Her new ladybug nightlight, which projects stars and the moon onto the ceiling. As soon as we turn out the light each night before bed, she immediately looks up to the ceiling for the stars.
• Crazy kid still loves my singing.
• I think she likes bathtime more and more every day. She likes it so much she didn't even protest at all during her baptism when the water was placed on her head.

Dislikes:

• Naps.

Slow-cooker Sunday

The past two Sunday's I've put together one meal in the crockpot and one on top of the stove, and then I've had to do very little cooking throughout the week. Genius. If I do say so myself.

Last week, I made my friend Sara's Crock-Pot Chicken and Dumplings. O. M. G. Some of the best comfort food I've had in a long time. Thick and creamy, and the dumplings, made out of biscuits in can, are delicious. Jordan was a big fan of this one.

I also made my mom's recipe for Doug's Chili Verde #5. I have no idea why it's called that or where she got this recipe. Apparently from someone names Doug who has multiple versions of the recipe. But I do know that it's delicious.
3-4 lb rump roast
1 can beef broth
3-4 fresh jalepenos, seeded and chopped
1 T chili powder
1 chopped onion (I probably use about half as much)
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1 C wine
Cook over low heat on stovetop several hours - I think I cooked mine for about 3-4 hours, shredded it with a fork and then let cook another hour or so. This meat is so tender and is excellent as taco filling, on a tostada, on a salad ... would be great in enchiladas, too.

For this week, I cooked a pork shoulder in the crockpot. It was around 3 lbs, and I cooked with worchestershire sauce, liquid smoke, a little chicken stock, garlic powder, onion powder and a little chili powder for about four hours. Tonight we had it over corn cakes (cornbread mix prepared according to directions but cooked like pancakes instead of muffins or sticks) with some North Carolina bbq sauce drizzled over the top. Yum.

My mom made Southern Living's White Lightening Chicken Chili last week and loved it, so naturally I had to try it, too. It was super easy - maybe 10 minutes to prepare and another 10 to cook - and excellent. The avocado-mango salsa on top is a delicious added bonus.

Happy eating!

You know you are a parent when ...

• You don't realize your baby has explosi-pooped out her diaper until you notice something strange on the back of her head ... yep, that's poop, which you then realize is also leaking out both legs of her diaper. You remain bewildered as to how it got on her head.
• When presented an opportunity to go on a vacation sans-baby, you become manic-depressive, alternating between utter glee at the chance to get away for a while and despair at how in the world you will manage to be away from her for multiple days in a row
• Getting out of the house to run to Target (especially if by yourself) feels almost like a vacation (and no, that's not the kind of vacation I'm referring to in the bullet above)
• You are destined to cancel at least one out of three outings or appointments because your baby has gone crazy (or is that just us????)
• The biggest excitement on a Saturday night is dancing your baby around the house with her singing stuffed duck toy. And you are surprisingly OK with that being how you spend your Saturday nights now
• You can never seem to find your lip gloss, credit card or gum in your purse, but you are never at a loss for various bows, toys, socks and blankies
• Instead of your phone being the one thing you can't leave home without (and are willing to turn around to get when almost at your destination), it's now the baby's pacifier
• Watching your baby sleep is better than any movie or TV show
• You would sell your own body parts (or better yet, your spouse's) for a cup of coffee or glass of wine, depending on the day
• When you're exhausted and you've been up to comfort your baby multiple times throughout the night, you start to wonder, could I just fit in the crib with her? (I haven't tried this yet but I contemplate it about every other night. When I mentioned it to Jordan, he says he thinks about it all the time, too)
• Your entire house has been overrun by baby toys. After you swore up and down that you would never let that happen to you
• You either dress your baby in so many layers that she's sweating or you don't have enough clothes on her. There is no in between
• You know you have to stay married forever because your husband is the only one who can 1) get the crib sheets on the mattress, 2) remove those hard-to-reach boogers from the baby's nose and 3) get the medicine successfully from the syringe into the baby's mouth. And he's willing to get up with the baby in the middle of the night - that one is priceless.
• You contemplate shoving old people who touch your baby in the grocery store line. Yes, I am aware she's cute, but you saying it doesn't give you permission to touch her.
• You have mastered driving with one hand while the other arm reaches into the back seat to hold the pacifier in the baby's mouth
• In the evening while watching TV, you hear a cry and are halfway to the baby's room before you realize it came from the TV. This happens to me almost every night. I am over all commercials or TV shows with babies crying
• It takes you approximately six times as long to read a book as before the baby because you can only get through about half a page before falling asleep at night. And when she goes to bed at 7 p.m., you seriously think about going to bed, too.

There's a lot more where this came from ... this one is to be continued ...