Parenting: The ultimate guessing game

I had no idea how absolutely clueless I would be as a parent. And I still marvel that you get to just make up whatever rules you want. There's not exactly a handbook for this job. Most of the time I'm OK with making up my own rules. But the part of parenting where I really wish there was a handbook, or at least a few clues, is our battle with colic. There is pretty much nothing more painful than watching your child in pain and being clueless and helpless for how to fix it. And if your name is Jordan "I like to fix things" Page, it's especially difficult.

I realized yesterday that clearly I should have gone to medical school like I'd originally planned. Then maybe I could figure out what's really wrong with my kiddo or at least have some more insight into what to do. Although, on the other hand, the doctors we've seen haven't been able to provide much help either. And (no offense to my friends who are doctors or studying to be doctors) I kind of feel like living with a colicky baby for five months might be a little like a crash course in med school. I've learned a lot and I'm completely exhausted. Just call me Dr. Page!

We have heard that 90 percent of babies outgrow colic by four months. Really helpful to hear when your baby is five months old and still colicky. Thankfully we got to take Addie to a GI specialist yesterday (and we'll never be able to thank Jordan's godfather enough for arranging it, since, apparently it usually takes months to get in) who confirmed there is nothing seriously wrong with her. Music to my ears. Although we were fairly certain that she'd have other major symptoms if something was really wrong, we desperately needed a second opinion and confirmation that she was OK. And that we do not completely suck as parents. The specialist did think that Addie has reflux, too, which could exacerbate the colic symptoms. We've got new medicine to try, which should start to help over the next two weeks. In the same breath, Jordan told me the medicine was pretty expensive but that he'd sell everything we owned, body parts, even our dog (please don't tell Izzy) if it could provide her even a little relief.

Here's the tricky part. One doctor thinks that introducing food (specifically carbs) into Addie's diet is at the root of the reappearance of the colic symptoms. (Did I mention that we were virtually colic-free for a month? Made the return of the symptoms that much harder.) The other thinks that's basically a load of bull and that carbs could actually help her. One thinks she's has reflux, the other thinks she doesn't. At least they both agree she has colic. And that she's really cute. So I guess this is the part where Jordan and I use our medical degrees to determine which doctor is right???

All I know is that I'm tired of my baby's tummy hurting. I'm tired of all the answers being "let's try this for a couple weeks and see what happens." And I'm physically and emotionally exhausted from worrying about and aching for her every time she cries as if her little heart would break.

The good news is that my sweet baby is happy, smiling and laughing a lot of the time. And we have a lot of help and support when she's not. And, as Jordan and I say to each other all the time, things could be so much worse. Hearing the specialist say yesterday that Addie is a healthy, happy, thriving baby practically brought tears to my eyes. Because that's exactly what I prayed our baby would be.