Chickpea cakes

Another of my attempts to be more vegan - chickpea cakes. This recipe, again, from my vegan cousin, Rebecca.
1 can chickpeas (if your name is Jordan Page, someone should probably tell you they are called garbanzo beans so you don't go to three stores looking for them)
1/3 cup green onions
1/3 cup coconut milk (I used Almond milk)
2 tsp evaporated cane sugar (I used the regular stuff)
2/3 cup breadcrumbs, plus 1/4 for coating
1 tsp curry
1/2 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp cumin
2/3 cup brown rice, cooked

In a food processor, combine the chickpeas and onions and pulse until fairly smooth. Transfer to a mixing bowl and add milk, sugar, 2/3 cup breadcrumbs and spices. Then stir in brown rice. Mold into 10 patties and coat with remaining breadcrumbs. You are supposed to sear them in a bit of oil - but mine were falling apart, so I seared quickly and then finished in the oven.

I served the cakes over fresh spinach and topped with salsa, avacado and pumpkin seeds. Jordan was pretty crazy about these, but I felt like something was missing. I will definitely make them again - maybe increasing the amount of milk (needed more liquid), decreasing the amount of rice and playing around with the spices a bit.

It sure did look pretty!

Funny stuff my husband says

My husband is hilarious. In fact, that's what first attracted me to him when we met, and then started dating, 14 years ago. Yes, 14 years ago. He became even funnier when I got pregnant and funnier still when Addie was born. Here's a look at some of my favorite Jordanisms over the past year ...

1. "Are you sure there's just one in there? Could it be hiding directly behind that one?" - at our first doctor's visit. Apparently he was terrified of twins.
2. "So I'm going to be that guy, carrying a Vera Bradley bag on each arm into the hospital? Wait, nevermind, that pretty much sums up the rest of my life." - while I was packing bags for Addison and me for the hospital
3. "What do you mean she doesn't really get any food the first few days of her life? She will have just been born - she'll be starving. I'm pretty sure she'll need a cheeseburger." - at breastfeeding class. Yes, he went to breastfeeding class with me, which I'm pretty sure qualifies him for enough brownie points for the rest of his life.
4. "Is it really hot in here?" - watching *the* video during childbirth class. Surprisingly, he didn't pass out
5. "How do they expect us to sleep the night before? That's like Christmas Eve on crack." - after scheduling our induction
6. "Are there enough people in here? I'm pretty sure there aren't enough people in here." - when the nurse declared it time to start pushing
7. He thinks it's super hilarious to sing "Express Yourself" at the top of his lungs when I'm pumping ...
8. "How am I supposed to do this??? There is poop EVERYWHERE!" - overheard from Addison's room when he was, clearly, changing a diaper
9. "I may not have pushed that baby out myself, but having her has made me WAY more emotional. Must be because she's a girl. Rubbing off on me." - for the record, it's super sweet that he tears up at Extreme Home Makeover, specials about dads and kids on ESPN, Parenthood, Grey's Anatomy ... yep, pretty much anything remotely emotional on TV ... after which he often says "I need to hold my baby"
10. "Ready to get your nails did?" - Jordan is Addie's official manicurist
11. "So we can give her cereal soon, right? Like Cheerios?" - and, yes, he was serious
12. When I asked him if he ever reads this blog: "I don't need to. I live your blog."

I'm confident this is the first of many in the Jordanism series. Have any funny ones you'd like to share?

To work or not to work?

Whether a mom goes back to work after having a baby is an age-old question without a right or wrong answer. I only know the answer for myself and my own family (which I have come to after months of agonizing over it) and believe every mom has to come to her own conclusion. I respect and admire my mom friends who stay home full time and those who work full time - both have pros and cons and both are challenging. I feel for any woman who has had to make this choice - and especially for those who felt their situations didn't allow them to choose.
Before I had a baby, and even when I was pregnant, I was convinced that the right answer for me was to work full time. I have always loved my career. I put my heart and soul into my job and over the years have really gained much of my identity from it. I love the people I work with and what the organization stands for. I have had an awesome opportunity to create my position and department and have made some great accomplishments over the last five years.

I have NEVER pictured myself as the stay-at-home mom type. I just didn't think it was for me. My mom worked full time throughout my childhood and I was always proud of her for it. And I never wished she would do anything different - from her I learned that I could do and be anything I wanted to be. She must be superwoman because we always had homecooked meals and she never missed a production or special day at my school. But I also loved hanging out at my friends' houses whose moms were there with cookies when they got home from school. I thought it was cool that their moms could volunteer at the school or with other meaningful organizations or be readily available to hang out or go shopping with them. I wasn't jealous of what they had - just appreciative.

The second I saw my baby's face, something in me shifted. Being at home with her for three months isn't enough for me. I haven't yearned to return to work like I thought I would. If I'm being realistic, and I am, her colic has made her a pretty high-maintenance baby. It's taken me three months to figure her out, and half the time, I still have no idea what she wants. Because of that, it's really hard for me to leave her with someone else. Will they be as patient as I would be? Will they know what her different cries mean? Will they be able to soothe her like I can?
Also influencing my decision is our childcare situation. Thankfully, shortly after we told my parents we were pregnant, my mom told us she would really like to keep our baby for a while when I returned to work. The plan was for my mom to keep her full time until February, then we'd place her in childcare full time. We had two long-term childcare options, both with child development centers we felt really good about. They have both now told me they don't have room for her until summer. Our church's Mother's Day Out (available three days a week for part of the day) may or may not have room for her in February. My mom is a true Godsend and has said over and over again that she will keep Addie for as long as we want her to, as many days a week as we need. Sometimes she even asks me to go ahead and get back to work so she can start keeping her now! But we also struggle with not wanting to take over my mom's entire life with keeping our baby.

So, couple my emotional state of mind with the childcare issues and I was pretty sure God was trying to tell me something. Honestly, what I have struggled with, more than the question of whether to return to work, is that maybe I didn't know myself very well after all. Not only have I gotten to know Addie very well over the last three months, I've been reintroduced to a different version of myself. I'm OK with my identity being "Addie's mom" - I even relish it - instead of a big fancy title. I like singing nursery rhymes and working on tummy time just as much as strategic planning. But I don't want to give up that other world completely. Even if right now I am content being home with Addie all the time, I think I would regret giving up that other part of myself.

So the right answer for us is for me to work part time. I have been offered and accepted an awesome new job, working around 20 hours a week, mostly in the office and a bit from home, with people I like and admire. Though extremely difficult for me to leave a job, organization and people that I truly love, I am confident this is the right move for me. I will be able to keep ties to my profession, using my talents and learning from others who do what I do. I'll get to hang out with and brainstorm with adults. And I will be able to be at home with my baby. My mom will keep her while I'm at work until Addie's old enough to go to MDO. And even then I'm confident my mom will find reasons Addie needs to hang out with her instead of going to MDO some of the time.

The other thing worth noting is that I have an incredibly supportive husband who has said to me from the beginning (after we ran the numbers and determined that, financially, we could look into me not working or just working part time) that he wants me to do whatever will make me happy. He likes the idea of me being the one to keep our baby. He also likes the idea of me keeping in touch with the adult world by working part time. Above all, I am extremely grateful that I have been able to choose what I want to do.

I am excited about the next chapter in my life. I'm looking forward to my new career. I'm really looking forward to hanging out with Addie.

Pies vs baby

I posted briefly about this on Facebook, but the story is too good not to share in detail here as well.

I was feeling a little like supermom yesterday, getting all my Thanksgiving baking/prep done during Addie's naps. I had put my final dishes, two chocolate pecan pies, in the oven about the time she woke from her afternoon nap. We played for awhile and then, glancing quickly at the timer on the pies, showing about 10 minutes left, I realized baby girl needed a diaper change. Apparently I took the diaper off a little too quickly ... she explosi-pooped pretty much everywhere. It was one of those where I was practically standing her on her head, trying to keep her from getting it all over herself ... that didn't so much work. Especially since it was all over me, too. And it was one of those where wipes alone weren't going to cut it. Homegirl needed a bath, which would mark her second of the day. And her darling "my first Thanksgiving"  outfit (as well as pretty much anything else that had been in her path) needed to go immediately in the wash since we were going to see family later that night and she, of course, needed to wear that exact outfit.

So I wiped down the baby and myself, stripped her and the changing pad, left naked girl safely on the changing pad and got the bath ready, starting the washing machine on the way. About 8 minutes left on the pies. Have I mentioned that the pies wouldn't actually be done in 8 minutes, but would need topping added and be placed back in the oven? I gave baby girl the fastest bath in the history of the world. About 4 minutes left on the pies. Got her dressed. Put her on her playmat to hang out so I could finish up the pies and get them back in the oven. Have I also mentioned that I'm about to wet my pants?? I have found that since I've become a mom, I completely don't realize I have to go to the bathroom until I'm about to die. Too many other things going on. So I'm putting the topping on the pies and baby girl is SCREAMING. Time to eat. Naturally. The crying-so-hard-no-sound-is-coming-out kind of cry. I quickly finish the pies, put them back in the oven, run to the bathroom and then give her what she wants. Then I realize the pies will have to come out in 10 minutes ... and there's no way she'll be done eating in 10 minutes. We worked it out.

So end of the story is that baby got clean and fed and was only mildly stressed out, and the outfit was washed and dried in time for dinner with family ... and I'll let you know how overdone the pies are later today. Supermom my foot.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

What a difference a year makes

We put our Christmas tree up today and Jordan was lying underneath it looking at the lights with Addie when I was struck by how different my life is than this time last year. Last Thanksgiving was a tough time for me, though most wouldn't have known. Jordan and I had been hoping to get pregnant for about six months, and I was sad and frustrated that it hadn't happened yet. I wasn't exactly talking about it with anyone ... I personally was not in favor of sharing with everyone I knew that my husband and I were "trying" to have a baby ... to me, that feels a little like telling the world "my husband and I are having sex a whole lot ... so don't come by unannounced or anything."

I had taken several negative pregnancy tests by that point and hit a low on Nov. 7. I remember the day very well because it had previously been a happy one - it was the day Jordan asked me to be his girlfriend when we were freshmen in high school. :) I remember sitting in the bathroom sobbing that morning and then having to pull myself together so we could get to church. The message that morning seemed to be crafted just for me. I don't remember all the details, but it was about giving up control to God. Notecards were distributed and the congregation was encouraged to write something on the card that each had been trying to control, and then place the card underneath a cross, relinquishing control to the Lord. No brainer for me. Writing on the card and placing it under the cross was the easy part. But at that moment I sincerely gave up control of my situation. After all, I hadn't exactly been successful in creating a baby myself.

I put up our Christmas decorations last year a little wistfully. I had been sure I'd be pregnant by Thanksgiving. For the rest of November, I continued to pray about my situation, but instead of praying fervently for a baby, I prayed for God's perfect timing and for strength and peace for Jordan and me. OK, some of the time I still prayed fevently for a baby. And asked why we hadn't been given one yet. I had to hand over my situation to God every day, sometimes more than once. But I felt more peace about it, more reassurance than I ever had before.

We celebrated my birthday and my dad's birthday in early December. I started feeling funny but didn't want to get my hopes up. Turns out my bizarre symptoms, which I thought were stress-related, could actually be signs of pregnancy - metallic taste in the mouth, bloody nose, light-headedness. On my way home from the gym on Dec. 7, I picked up a pregnancy test. I was so nervous I couldn't take it for almost an hour. In my anxiousness, I had grabbed the wrong kind - the kind that shows a plus or minus instead of the words pregnant or not pregnant. I took the test. It immediately showed a plus sign. We were incredulous. Jordan didn't believe it and told me to go out and buy the digital kind. I was way too embarrassed to go back in the same store and buy a second test, so he did it. It said pregnant.

In the grand scheme of things, we were very lucky. I know many have to wait much longer to get pregnant or have to go through incredible lengths, sometimes quite different than they'd imagined, to get the family they have always dreamed of. And I do feel incredibly fortunate that we were able to get pregnant and that it was an easy, healthy pregnancy for me, resulting in a most-perfect baby. But, at the time, our situation was agonizing. I caught a small glimpse of what some of my friends have dealt with on a much larger scale.

We told our parents about Baby Page just before Christmas but waited to tell family and friends until after our first doctor's appointment on Jan. 11, when she confirmed that there was, in fact, a tiny, healthy baby the size of a blueberry in my belly.

When I packed up our Christmas decorations on New Year's Day last year, I was carrying a sweet secret, wondering what this tiny baby would look like. Whether it would be a boy or a girl. Hoping it would be healthy. I thought ahead to putting the decorations up the following year - this year - and that I'd have a baby by then. A sweet girl who enjoyed lying on our new tree skirt today, feeling its soft velvet and gazing up at all the twinkle lights. How very blessed am I.

Vegan Lasagna

I mentioned in a previous post that my cousin and her family have been vegan for the past year. I think our whole family was surprised that her meat-and-potatoes loving husband was up for it, but he is just as dedicated as she is. My own meat-and-potatoes loving husband has told me many times over the past year "not to get any ideas" from Rebecca. Until it was his own idea.

Since Addie was diagnosed with colic about 11 weeks ago, I have been off dairy. I've had to get a little creative with my cooking and haven't been able to go out to eat as much (which has actually been a good thing) but it honestly hasn't been as difficult as I'd originally thought. Of course, when you're doing something like that for a sweet, precious baby who looks at you like you're her favorite thing in the world (because you are), anything is possible. Since I do most of the cooking, Jordan hasn't been eating much dairy, either, and he also says it hasn't been bad at all.
So we decided we'd give the whole less-meat-in-our-diets thing a try. We eat pretty healthy anyway, and Jordan's on a bit of a health kick right now, so the timing is perfect. My goal for now is to make a vegan dinner once or twice a week. My first official attempt was tonight - vegan lasagna. Here's the recipe I adapted from:
Whole Wheat Lasagna with Italian "Sausage" and Peppers
Ingredients

• 1 box of whole wheat or brown rice lasagna noodles
• 1 (16-ounce) box of frozen spinach, thawed, squeeze excess water out
• 2 (26-ounce) jars of vegan marinara (Morgan used a basil marinara)
• 4 vegan Italian "sausages" cut into cubes
• 2 green bell peppers, chopped
• 2 T olive oil
• Vegan shredded cheese (enough to sprinkle on top only)
• 1 lb. extra firm tofu
• Juice of 1 lemon
• 1 clove of garlic, minced
• 2 heaping T nutritional yeast
• 1/2 tsp sea salt
• Black pepper to taste
• 4 T chopped sundried tomatoes
• 1 cup (a few huge handfuls) chopped fresh basil
• 1 tsp. dried oregano

Press water out of tofu by wrapping in a clean towel, and placing a pot or pan on top for about 10-20 minutes

1. Crumble the tofu in a bowl, and add lemon juice, garlic, nutritional yeast, sea salt, black pepper, sundried tomatoes, fresh basil, and dried oregano
2. Using a potato masher, smash up the tofu really well until it resembles ricotta cheese in texture
3. Set aside until ready to use
4. Meanwhile, bring a large pot of water with 2 T olive oil to a boil, and cook noodles according to package (the oil will prevent the noodles from sticking together)
5. Cook them for a few minutes less than suggested, so that they can finish cooking in the oven
6. When noodles are done cooking, drain and rinse in cold water
7. While the noodles are cooking, heat 2 T olive oil in a saute pan, and saute sausage a few minutes
8. Use a potato masher to help crumble the sausage into slightly smaller pieces
9. Add 2 jars of marinara sauce and 2 chopped green peppers to the pan, and let simmer about 10 minutes
10. Preheat oven to 425 degrees
11. In a rectangular pyrex glass dish, start layering your lasagna
12. Start by adding a little sauce on the bottom, then 4 noodles, then sauce, spinach, tofu ricotta, 4 noodles, sauce, spinach, ricotta,4 noodles, and then end with sauce and cover the top with shredded vegan cheese (you should have 3 layers of noodles) Cover top of dish with foil, and bake for 30 minutes
13. Uncover and cook an additional 10 minutes until cheese melts a little on top
14. Let cool 5 minutes

Here's what I did differently:
I used oven-ready noodles. I don't have time for noodle cooking. I didn't think this recipe called for nearly enough vegetables, so I included eggplant, squash, red pepper, red onion and baby portobello mushrooms. I sauted those and then added the two jars of marinara and let it simmer for a bit. For the ricotta, I put the tofu, several handfuls of fresh spinach (used my spinach here instead of layering in the lasagna), the garlic, lemon juice, spices and sundried tomatoes in my food processor. That seemed a heck of a lot easier to me. I omitted the fake sausage - that kind of creeps me out to be honest.

Lasagna was excellent - even Jordan loved it. The tofu ricotta was the best part - tasted exactly like cheese, and the flavors of the spinach, garlic and sundried tomatoes were delicious. Highly recommend! And I even remembered to take a picture - tasted much better than it looks!

I heart pumpkin

My new favorite pumpkin recipe is actually a vegan pumpkin muffin, courtesy of my cousin Rebecca, whose family has been eating vegan for over a year now. She and her husband have both lost weight, and most impressively, vastly improved their cholesterol scores. More on being vegan later.

Here's the recipe:
1 cup canned pumpkin
1/3 cup water
1/3 cup canola oil (I used applesauce instead, and also add about 2 T extra flour to keep them from being too sticky from the applesauce)
2 T ground flax seed
1 tsp vanilla
1 2/3 cup whole wheat pastry flour (I've also made with regular unbleached flour)
1 1/3 cup sugar
1 t baking powder
1/2 t baking soda
1/2 t cinnamon
1/4 t nutmeg
1/3 cup chocolate chips (or vegan carob chips if you want to be seriously vegan)

I also add a dash of ginger and a dash of cloves. Preheat oven to 350. Spray muffin tin(s) - this makes 12 muffins or 24 mini-muffins. Mix together pumpkin, water, oil, flax seed and vanilla in a mixer. Add in flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda and spices. Fold in the chocolate chips. Bake for 30-35 minutes until a toothpick inserted in the center of a muffin comes out clean (slightly less baking time for mini-muffins).

I love any recipe that doesn't use the entire can of pumpkin because that gives me a great excuse to make pumpkin dip. Now, as I've said before, I don't really believe in measuring ... I had about half a can of pumpkin left after making these muffins. I added about 4 oz of cream cheese and then powdered sugar (probably a quarter to a third of a cup) and pumpkin pie spices to taste (about 1/2 t cinnamon, 1/4 nutmeg and 1/8 each of ginger and cloves). I serve with gingersnaps.

Another favorite of mine is a pumpkin cookie with cream cheese icing, courtesy of either my friend Brenda or Paula ... or maybe both.
2 cups flour
1 1/2 t baking powder
1 t baking soda
1 T pumpkin pie spice
2 eggs
1 cup sugar
1/2 cup canola oil (I use applesauce here, too, adding in more flour to cut the stickiness)
1 cup canned pumpkin
1 t vanilla

Preheat oven to 325. Stir together flour, baking powder, baking soda and spices together. In an electric mixer, beat eggs and sugar until smooth. On low speed, mix in the oil, pumpkin and vanilla until blended. Add in flour mixture. Bake cookies about 15 minutes. When cooled, top with cream cheese frosting (or just dust with powdered sugar instead). The frosting is 8 oz cream cheese, powdered sugar to taste (recipe calls for a small box) and milk to thin to consistency you want. These remind me of City Bite's pumpkin cookies. Yum.

Next on my pumpkin to-do list is BrownEyedBaker's Pumpkin Scones - can't wait!