Funny stuff my husband says

My husband is hilarious. In fact, that's what first attracted me to him when we met, and then started dating, 14 years ago. Yes, 14 years ago. He became even funnier when I got pregnant and funnier still when Addie was born. Here's a look at some of my favorite Jordanisms over the past year ...

1. "Are you sure there's just one in there? Could it be hiding directly behind that one?" - at our first doctor's visit. Apparently he was terrified of twins.
2. "So I'm going to be that guy, carrying a Vera Bradley bag on each arm into the hospital? Wait, nevermind, that pretty much sums up the rest of my life." - while I was packing bags for Addison and me for the hospital
3. "What do you mean she doesn't really get any food the first few days of her life? She will have just been born - she'll be starving. I'm pretty sure she'll need a cheeseburger." - at breastfeeding class. Yes, he went to breastfeeding class with me, which I'm pretty sure qualifies him for enough brownie points for the rest of his life.
4. "Is it really hot in here?" - watching *the* video during childbirth class. Surprisingly, he didn't pass out
5. "How do they expect us to sleep the night before? That's like Christmas Eve on crack." - after scheduling our induction
6. "Are there enough people in here? I'm pretty sure there aren't enough people in here." - when the nurse declared it time to start pushing
7. He thinks it's super hilarious to sing "Express Yourself" at the top of his lungs when I'm pumping ...
8. "How am I supposed to do this??? There is poop EVERYWHERE!" - overheard from Addison's room when he was, clearly, changing a diaper
9. "I may not have pushed that baby out myself, but having her has made me WAY more emotional. Must be because she's a girl. Rubbing off on me." - for the record, it's super sweet that he tears up at Extreme Home Makeover, specials about dads and kids on ESPN, Parenthood, Grey's Anatomy ... yep, pretty much anything remotely emotional on TV ... after which he often says "I need to hold my baby"
10. "Ready to get your nails did?" - Jordan is Addie's official manicurist
11. "So we can give her cereal soon, right? Like Cheerios?" - and, yes, he was serious
12. When I asked him if he ever reads this blog: "I don't need to. I live your blog."

I'm confident this is the first of many in the Jordanism series. Have any funny ones you'd like to share?