Please tell me we're all this crazy

When I became a mom, I also turned crazy. OK, maybe I was a little bit crazy before, but becoming a mom has exacerbated the crazy.

My entire life, people have credited me with being very organized. That used to be somewhat true. Now one look in my closet, car or purse will tell you the truth about that one.

For example, I was at Sam's the other day and was having a very difficult time finding my credit card (you know, when all my items have already been scanned and the people behing me are glaring at me with daggers in their eyes). I offered to pay with the excess of graham crackers in my purse. The checker didn't think I was very funny. (I did find my card and no one tried to knife me or anything). I have been to two doctor's appointments in the past week or so, and at both they, understandably, asked me what medications I'm on. There are three and I couldn't remember the names of any. At either appointment. You'd think the first one would have prepared me to check my meds for the second. I told one that I'd be happy to share every medication my daughter has ever taken, along with dosage, side effects, etc. I still don't know the names of any of my own meds. I tell my coworkers it's often a miracle I get to work with clothes on. I forget to pay bills. My plants are all dead or screaming for water. My refrigerator desperately needs to be cleaned.

How is it that one tiny person can take over your life so completely, so totally that you literally can't get anything else done? Or perhaps this is just me? Please tell me it's not. And I have had this idea all along that as soon as she got to six months, to a year that things would ease up a bit. And things definitely do change, but that hasn't meant I have any more time to myself or to get things done. And how exactly do you tell people ... yeah, sorry I couldn't get to that. See, I have a kid.

I have always been a bit of a perfectionist. And someone who loves to check things off lists. And someone who bases success in life on measurable accomplishments. Changing eight diapers, getting halfway through three loads of laundry and forgetting to feed the dog till 8 at night don't exactly feel like accomplishments.

There are a lot of moments that do feel like huge accomplishments, though. Like getting through a trip to the grocery store without a breakdown. Making a new recipe (unless it's terrible). Hearing my sweet girl say a new word. Watching her "sing" itsy bitsy spider and realizing she learned that from watching me sing it to her. Seeing her share with other babies. Getting her sweet hugs and kisses. Making her belly laugh.

But it can be hard to see those things as accomplishments. Especially because we usually leave the store without everything we need to ward of a breakdown. My making dinner usually involves her crying and pulling on my leg because I'm not paying enough attention to her. My house is never clean enough. We still have episodes of inconsolable crying that take me back to colic days. Naps are never quite long enough. And I'm used to a completely different kind of accomplishment - like ROI, an increase in awareness or a meaningful media story. And I'm used to people constantly telling me I'm doing a great job. While Addie's hugs and kisses and laughter mean a lot, she doesn't exactly every say to me, "hey mom, I know this is a tough gig sometimes, but you're doing a great job."

And speaking of work ... How in the world do you people with kids and full time jobs do it???? I'm never devoting enough time to work. I'm never devoting enough time to her. That push/pull is relentless and agonizing. It's been much tougher on me, emotionally and physically, than I anticipated.

I told my mom the other day that there are times I genuinely feel like I'm the only mom in the world who doesn't have it all together. She asked if it was possible that other people look at me and think I've got it all together. Well I'm here to tell you that I really don't. My house is a wreck. I should pray more. I should talk to my husband more. I can't remember if I brushed my kid's teeth before she went to bed. I should be working on work instead of blogging. I have at least three friends' voicemails I need to return. My stinky dog seriously needs a bath. I seriously need some yoga. And a nap. And I'm crazy.

Addison Mae - 14 months

I swear I get these posts written at her month markers ... and then just forget to post ... or am waiting on a really great picture ... promise I'll repost with some recent pics.

From walking to RUNNING. And climbing. And jumping (which is that cute way babies jump where their little knees are bending and legs are working, but their little feet don't actually leave the ground :)). I only thought this baby of mine was into everything before. And I only thought she was talking up a storm before. The talking is constant. Where on earth did she get that?? New words every day and constantly trying to repeat what we're saying (which means we should get some of our words in check now). She is the life of the party wherever she goes. We are constantly being stopped, at the grocery store, at church, wherever we are for people to tell us how undeniably cute she is, what pretty eyes she has, how much she talks and how friendly she is (the waving is also constant). Which, let me just tell you, never gets old. The moms of kids in her Starbright class and at her Gymboree class say their kids talk at home about their friend Addie. And we got a note from Starbright saying how much the boys already love her - they love to pat her head and play with her. That was not Jordan's favorite day. I love that she loves to share, be inclusive of everyone she plays with and always has a smile and a wave - those are the sweet qualities, that as her mom, I hope to help grow and strengthen in her.

Weight: 18 lbs, 9 oz
Length: 28 1/2 inches

New things this month:

• RUNNING. Everywhere. I look away for 2 seconds and she's across the house.
• Climbing. I put her on the living room floor, and then look back and she's on the couch, leaning waaaaay over the back to pet the cat. Panic attack. She also somehow knows how to climb the ladders at Gymboree.
• Talking. All. The. Time. I have no idea how many words she says, but it's a whole, whole lot. She has successfully learned "Pete" (as in Pistol) and "Rumble" (pronounced more like Bum Bum). She says no, except usually it's "no no" or "no no no" ... guess she hears that a lot. Other new words are all done when she's finished eating, wa-wa for water, play, up/down please, in/out please (usually in relation to the laundry basket ... why do I even buy this kid toys???), teeth, eye, ear, duck, deer, book, blue ...
• Waving her wheat. Be still my heart :)
• The animal sound obsession has continued. We took her to the zoo and it was crazy overload. She moo'd at the hippos, rhinos and bison, meow-ed at anything that looked like a cat, hissed at the snake, made fish-face at the fish, etc. etc.  
• Taking consistently longer naps. We waited what felt like a long time for this, but we're finally there. She takes one afternoon nap that's usually anywhere from one to two hours.

Likes:

• Playing with door handles. Perhaps we should keep our doors locked at all times.
• Climing up onto the hearth, from which she surveys her kingdom and subjects.
• Going to the park. The wagon ride is the best part, but she also likes climbing on the equipment, swinging and sliding.
• Waving. She's like the mini welcoming committee at church. I love watching people's faces light up at the grocery store when they see my little waver smiling at them.
• Mice. Not the real kind, at least I hope not. Have you ever noticed how many children's books have mice in them? We read Goodnight Moon every night, and the mouse is somewhere different on each page. She has several mouse-related books at Grammie and Pawpaw's too.
• Shoes, which she calls "bees" (and I find myself doing, too ... Jordan, have you seen my bees??). She is seriously obsessed with her own shoes, Jordan's, mine, whoever's shoes she can get her hands on. We took her to try on/buy shoes and she squealed and squealed. This could become a problem.
• Bubbles are still a very big deal. When I tell her we're going to Gymboree, she says, "bubble??" And there's no going out to the back yard at our house unless there is also bubble time.
• Pumpkins. The pumpkin patch was like heaven. She screamed "ball!!! ball!!!!" And then proceeded to lick every pumpkin we gave her. We bought a lot of pumpkins.
• Being read to. Especially if the books is about a mouse.
• Sharing her snacks with Izzy, or mom or dad. We have snack time about six times a day at our house.
• Playing with other babies.
• Telling you where your eyes, ears, mouth, nose, teeth and tongue are located. Very helpful. She tries to pin down Izzy and Mia to tell them, too.
• Looking out the cat door, which is in the utility room and goes out to the garage, and calling either for the cat or whichever parent isn't at home. She also sits there to wave and say bye-bye to her dad in the mornings.

Dislikes:

• Most vegetables. Our once awesome eater is going through what I hope is just a picky phase.
• Her Halloween costume, which is an elephant. She really likes to look at it but wearing it is currently a no-go.
• Teeth brushing.
• Anything less than five snacks a day.
• Being away from mama.

Addison Mae - 13 months

Oh yes, the monthly updates will continue. Mostly because I can hardly remember what happened yesterday, so I (as one of the few people who reads this blog!) love to go back and see how my baby girl has changed from month to month. Addie had such a fun birthday with many celebrations and many cakes, which, ironically, she didn't particularly care for. I think she's not so into really sweet things, and I'm all for keeping it that way as long as possible. I'm totally fine with eating her sweets for her. She continues to change dramatically every month, with her most dramatic change being WALKING! I am equal parts thrilled and terrified by everything that means.

Weight: 18 lbs, 6 oz
Length: 28 inches

New things this month:

• WALKING!!!! She took her first steps a few weeks after her birthday and over Labor Day weekend really took off. She's about a 50/50 crawler/walker at this point. She's still much faster on all fours. But she's SO proud of her new skill!
• Saying more words than I can possibly count. If I were to guess, I'd say she says about 30 to 35 words. Her new favorites include snack (pronounced NACK in a very loud, insistent voice), down (when she's done being held or wants to walk), Mimi (the cat and her grandma!), bubble, mouse, book and eat (anytime we come remotely close to her high chair, also in a loud, insistent voice). She just learned no, so I'm guessing that will soon become a favorite.
• Eating all the foods she wasn't supposed to eat before the age of one. Favorites have been peanut butter and strawberries. Totally my child.
• Drinking whole milk. We were nervous about this since my eating dairy while nursing was a big no-no. But she did great and goes through a carton of milk in no time. That also means no more nursing, which was difficult for her for just a few days, and is still a little emotional for me.
• Wearing shoes. I know, kind of makes me seem like a terrible mother ... but she really hated shoes until just recently.
• Playing with her babies. Calling herself baby. And pointing out all babies in photos or real life. Anyone under the age of about 15 is a baby.
• Time outs. Boo. She's started hitting us or the animals in the face occasionally, hence the time outs. The somewhat funny part about this is that her time out location is her crib (the only place she can be contained), so when I warn her that if she hits again she will go to time out, she responds by saying "night night???"
• Making even more animal sounds. She's so smart.
• Going to Gymboree once a week. She LOVES it. She's especially fascinated by all the balls they have there, the other babies, the bubble time (the teacher calls her bubble due to her crazed obsession) and of course Gymbo the clown. She is completely mesmerized by him.
• Starting in the one-year-old classroom at Starbright. No more nursery for this big girl!

Likes:

• Waving. At everyone. My little social butterfly.
• Her new farm toy, courtesy of my aunt, uncle and cousins. She loves that it makes all the animal noises, which she then mimics.
• Her new book about animal tails, courtesy of her Auntie Katie who knows my baby's obsession with animals.
• Eating. As evidenced by two of her new favorite words. I can't decide if she's really that hungry all the time or just likes the power of saying those words and getting what she's asking for.
• Her pink armchair, which she got for her birthday. She loves to sit in it, and for about the first week of trying out her new walking skill, she had to start from that chair. Kind of bounced herself into an upright position.
• Asking for "babies," which means she wants to look on my phone at pictures of herself or go all around the house looking at her pictures. Thank you Kristi Morton for ensuring we have plenty of beautiful pictures all over our house! :)
• Sharing her toys with other babies.
• Chasing Izzy or Cowboy with her push car. And laughing.
• Turning off and on the DVD player, cable box, CD player and receiver.
• Being read to. But at the pace (FAST) she requires and preferably the same one or two books over and over and over and over.
• Throwing a ball for Izzy or Cowboy.

Dislikes:

• Being refused a NACK.
• Time outs.
• Not getting what she wants, when she wants it.
• Being away from mama.