Wednesday, July 10, 2013

And baby makes four

9 weeks

 11 weeks

13 weeks

15 weeks (note Addie's tiny hand on my belly)
17 weeks (this time the tiny hand is in the bottom left corner)

Take my picture, mommy!!!

17 weeks is as good a time as any to blog about this tiny baby, right? So my sincere first thought about this was that we really had lost our minds. Though it happened a little faster than expected, we felt fully prepared to have another baby. Until we found out we actually were going to have one. I took a pregnancy test as a precautionary measure and was actually really surprised when it said positive. So surprised that I completely lost my cool and called Jordan in the middle of his work day to say, "Do you have a minute? I'm pregnant." We just expected that it would be like before and take about six months to a year to get pregnant. Apparently my body remembered exactly how to do this whole baby thing pretty well.

While I know in my head that every pregnancy is different, it's so hard not to compare the two. There is a huge emotional difference in crying, begging, praying for a baby for a long time versus BAM! finding out you're pregnant without hardly trying. If I have learned nothing else in my life, it's that God's favorite lesson to teach me is that I'm not in control. And this time around, obviously there is the emotional consideration of our sweet toddler who has no idea how much this new baby is going to rock her little world. She loves to talk about the tiny baby and look in my belly button to see if she can see it. She calls it "my tiny baby" or "EmmieHutch" (a combo of our boy/girl names). But I'm afraid just talking about it and it actually taking over her world are going to be two totally different things. I know she'll be a wonderful sister ... eventually. I am praying fervently that we can find the right words and actions to help her adjust well and quickly.

And speaking of different ... with Addie, I worked full time, worked out nearly every day, cooked dinner every night and, aside from some first trimester morning sickness, felt pretty great. So I just expected I'd have no problem with my new full-time job of keeping up with a 2-year-old, staying on my running schedule and cooking super healthy meals for all of us. Riiiiiight. In a word, I have felt awful since about six weeks. Exhausted. Nauseous. Unable to get out of bed some days. Which has resulted in far too much TV, hot dogs and fruit snacks for my sweet girl. She's not complaining. But talk about mom guilt! My whole job now is to be a mom, and yet I feel unable to properly take care of either of my babies. While I think the sickness is turning a bit of a corner (or maybe I'm just getting used to dealing with it), I still have some pretty rough days. And I'm learning to be OK with it. As with almost all things about parenting, it's just temporary. Even if six more months of temporary feels like an eternity.

So couple my unstable emotional state of mind with my physical inability to do much of anything ... and I've been a bit of a hot mess. And feeling guilty about that, too.

But the good news is, while it's taken a little longer to get used to the idea of this baby than our first and while it's already managing to drive me a bit crazy, I can honestly say I am beyond thrilled about this sweet little one growing in my tummy. I am anxious to hear that little heart beat at every appointment. I was elated to feel this baby start swimming around between 11 and 12 weeks, and to feel his/her kicks for the first time just last night. I am thrilled that we get to have a newborn again, that I get to nurse again, that we get to watch this already stubborn little one learn to eat, roll, crawl, walk ... and I am ecstatic that my sweet girl gets to have a sibling who's going to love and look up to her like no one else in this world. I feel incredibly blessed that we've been given another opportunity to be parents. Other than Addie adjusting, I think our biggest fear has been whether we could possibly love this new baby like we love its sister. And I've begun to feel an incredible sense of peace and calm about that, too. With a lot of prayer and help from family, we have managed to create a household full of love and warmth for this one baby of ours ... so how could that not overflow to this new little baby we get to welcome into our home and our lives?

Yes I'm crazy. Yes I'm nauseous. And YES I can't wait to be a mommy of two!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Addison Mae - 23 months

She didn't want to be left out of the baby bump pics!

In one month, I will have a 2-year-old. And that almost 2-year-old will tell you when asked, "I one. My birthday I be two." When we ask her what she wants for her birthday, she says, "Cake." Clearly my kid. She also likes to talk about her party and who all she wants to be there. My little daredevil started jumping off the diving board at my parents' pool recently. After seeing my friend Sarah dive in, she immediately said, "I do that, too." We're trying to cater to her high-energy needs by starting swim lessons tomorrow and then gymnastics in August. Though Addie has had a very fun month, it's also been a rough one around here. She has had an ongoing UTI (which meant urine samples via catheter twice ... mark that down as the most awful experience in my life ... twice) and then got strep, complete with lots of vomiting and high fever. We also lost my precious Mawmaw in late June and traveled to Houston for her memorial service. Addie loved seeing all of her family, and they loved seeing her. I was really worried about explaining to her that Mawmaw is now in heaven with Jesus, but she accepted it readily and likes to talk about how Mawmaw is with Jesus and Mawmaw is not sick anymore. She really loved being around Mawmaw's sisters, as did I, as they reminded her of her Mawmaw. I am eternally grateful that Addie and Mawmaw got to spend as much time together as they did, and that I was able to tell Mawmaw about her third great-grandbaby the last time we visited.

Weight: 23.6 pounds
Length: ~31  inches

New things this month:
  • Though it's not really new, I haven't mentioned in detail about my sweet girl saying her prayers. At dinnertime, she loves to hold our hands (and make sure Jordan and I are holding each other's, too) and say, "Thank you, Jesus. Amen." At bedtime, I always ask her what she wants to thank Jesus for that day. She always says mommy and daddy ... and sometimes things like noses, outside, swimming. We have spent a lot of time together praying for Mawmaw, thanking Jesus for Mawmaw and talking about heaven this month. It brings tears to my eyes to witness Addie's childlike faith ... and I pray that I can continue to help her grow in that faith as she gets older.
  • As mentioned above, jumping off the diving board. She loves to jump off the side or steps, too, and roll around to float on her back. I hope this means swimming lessons will be a success!
  • Her first parade. We went to the Quail Creek 4th parade, and she was ecstatic about going, even though she had no idea what a parade is. She loved it. Waved to all the puppies and kids. We were officially the last people watching the parade at our spot because she had to make sure she saw every last person, dog and baby. She kept saying, "More coming!" At the end, she waved and said, "Bye parade. I love you parade."
  • Showing concern about Jordan and me especially by saying/doing things we have said/done to her, "You OK Mommy?" "You sleepy Daddy?" "You OK back there Mommy?" (this is in the car ... even though I've tried to tell her Mommy is up there and she is back there ...) "You feel OK Daddy?" "You have owie Mommy?" She really doesn't like it when one of us is hurt or genuinely sad. My little bleeding heart.
  • Saying more and more out of the blue, rather than just repeating when we say it, "I love you Mommy/Daddy." If this isn't the best part about being a parent, I don't know what is.
  • This is really about Izzy rather than Addie, but I think Izzy has finally (FINALLY!) come to terms with the fact that Addie is here to stay. She's always been really good with her, but she has started to really enjoy Addie's company and enjoy playing with her more and more. Perhaps this is because it's Addie's job to feed her, let her in/out and give treats.

  • Dancing. Especially with her daddy, but mommy will do in a pinch, too. She really loved dancing to all the Fourth of July music on TV with her crazy Grammie and mommy.
  • Watermelon. Had her first taste last weekend and I think it's her favorite food ever.
  • Her new swimming pool (to replace the one her idiot parents left outside in a crazy rain/wind storm), complete with an elephant slide.
  • The big swimming pools at Grammie and Pawpaw's and Mimi and G-Daddy's.
  • Snacks. I think she likes swimming because she knows that a snack immediately follows. She often says, "I done swimming pool. I need snack." And if she happens to be with her Pawpaw, she knows she will get any and all snacks she asks for.
  • The library is still one of her favorite places. My girl for sure.
  • Talking about the tiny baby in mommy's tummy and calling it "EmmieHutch" (combo of our girl/boy names ... she's going to be really confused when it's just one or the other!)
  • Tortillas. Especially when filled with cheese.
  • Mommy putting her hair in pigtails.
  • Babies are still pretty special to her. Unless we know the baby, I always have to tell her not to touch, which she usually responds to by saying, "I just touch one finger, mommy?"
  • Using silly voices to make us laugh. I love how her little sense of humor is developing.
  • Stickers.
  • Band-aids. Stickers will do in a pinch.
  • Her new potty seat installed in her bathroom (thank you Jordan for having access to all things toilet). She likes to sit on it but hasn't yet successfully deposited anything in the toilet.

  • Going to the doctor. I don't want to go back to your doctor either, sister.
  • Being told what to do.
  • Anyone getting an owie. She can hardly stand to watch America's Funniest Home Videos because she worries so much about the people who hurt themselves.